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Sunday, January 04, 2009

  • neils a saint. im lucky to have him, if only i could express that to him.

    maybe ill go and see someone. i dont know. all i know is that i cant sleep, for whatever reason. im tired, really tired, but its only my eyes and my body, my head is still spinning. I need to cuddle with my baby, i need to feel someone i think. i feel so alone in my own bed. maybe ill paint something. maybe not, i dont feel like getting everything ready. i guess ill call neil back, maybe he'll talk to me until i get tired. or i guess until my phone dies, like always. =[

Thursday, January 01, 2009

  • ok so its a new year, new start, new new new. im excited, this year will be a big one. im graduating in 6 and a half months. im going to college in 8 or 9. essentially, this year will start my life. i can be whoever or whatever id like to be. i can tie up loose ends or cut old ties. of course, i can always do these things, but there is a certain feeling that comes along with this "new start" and im glad there is a holiday celebrated for its sense of hope in starting over.

    i have a lot to do in the next few days. inventory the supply closet tomorrow for Jrotc, read my book for english before the break is over, hopefully watch the third season of Dexter, outline chapter something.. 26? maybe.. i dont know.


    oh and my mom is a nutcase. i asked her one question and she blows up in my face for 20 minutes, an argument ending in "ill beat the fucking shit out of you and throw you out"...... if only. not the beating part, but the latter. but ill just let it bounce off of me like i have been. hello 2009.




Sunday, December 28, 2008

  • thoughts

    i feel so fucking empty.

    and the answering machine gets old.


    i continue being unhappy so that you wont be.
    and you say i am mean to you when im upset.
    well fuck, i have every right to be upset.
    and youre wrong, so try again.

    i give you everything. every fucking thing.

    i just wish i could be



Thursday, December 25, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

  • so i really really do not like my brother matthew. i know his type from being around people in ROTC and i bit my tongue so many times today, im so glad that i dont see him more than 2ce a year.

    well its christmas eve and im trying to be tired so i can just go to bed. but idk, i guess ill put away my clothes like my mom has been nagging at me to do and then maybe ill read.

    neils at his christmas eve party, i havent talked to hardly at all today, maybe five minutes total. he'll call me when he is finished.

    hopefully ill be tired by then.



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MYSTICFIRE21

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    • Name: Kate
    • Country: United States
    • State: New Jersey
    • Metro: Jersey City
    • Birthday: 6/21/1991
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/17/2004

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About Me

  • head over heels in love with a boy named neil<3 17, senior at delsea. loving my life. taking it a day at a time. soaking up the sun, reading some books, listening to the music. each day propelled by the inspiration each day brings.

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